Special Ham
by Ocaso
Summary: Rated M. - He thinks he’s heard her wrong until she repeats herself… - Seddie.


**Author's Note: **I wanted to read more iCarly/Seddie/M-rated/run-on/one-shot fics, so I wrote one. And, yes, this fic is iCarly/Seddie/M-rated/run-on/one-shot, so please, read and review! Enjoy!

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**Disclaimer: **Just checked: not mine.

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**Special Ham**

He thinks he's heard her wrong until she repeats herself…

And it's no wonder, really, that he didn't understand her the first time. After all, how often does Sam Puckett barge into Freddie Benson's room at night and tell him she wants to sleep with him?  
"I'm – I'm not ready", he manages to stutter while he sits up, and he knows she knows he isn't talking about protection when, even in the darkness, he can tell tears well in her eyes.  
"You can't really be that abnormal!"

He almost tells her she's the one who is mentally underdeveloped, but then she's kissing him and he forgets what they're talking about, because he's concentrating on how her mouth is boldly sucking on his tongue and how his hands have somehow moved under her t-shirt…

The moment she breaks the kiss, however, Freddie realizes what he's done and panics.  
"Sam, I –"

He knows he deserves it when her hand moves to his crotch, as being emasculated painfully is a universally-accepted consequence of touching Sam, but nothing happens. When his heart slows down (not much because, although her warm hand is barely on him, he's starting to feel dizzy and, God!, is all his blood pooling down there?), he nervously opens his eyes…

A tear is sliding down Sam's cheek.  
"See?"

He doesn't really see anything, but fear for his virility – which reminds him of its presence by hardening a cherished part of him – makes him nod in fake understanding, and, when she releases him, he sighs, but he's unable to decide if it's out of relief or disappointment, because his brain malfunctions when Sam settles in his lap…

Slowly, purposefully, she grinds into him and he gasps, aware that the blood he had left in his limbs has decided to move south as well…

And then they are kissing again and his mouth is begging her lips for entrance because, seriously, he loves what she does to his tongue and, when she agrees, he has to refrain himself from moaning …

And his hands have moved on their own again, he realizes, when he notices he's taken off her t-shirt and the feel of her skin almost makes him lose control…

But she's working on him, too, breaking the kiss to free him from his clothes, running her hands all over him before pulling him close…

And, at some point, she lets him push her back so that he's lying down on top of her as they kiss some more…

One of his hands slips lower and lower, and suddenly it's moving on top of her last piece of clothing, making her hiss through gritted teeth, as she almost bucks against him…

But he can't do this – not to Sam.

So he sits up suddenly, making her open her eyes in anger at his lack of good manners (he thinks she's right, since he could have pushed her off the edge before stopping, but he knows there's something wrong with Sam and with what they're doing)…

And some fingers of his right hand are slightly moist, so he uses his left one to push her hair back gently, before taking her hands and kissing them.

And then she's also sitting up, hugging him tightly as she cries, begging him not to reject her, too…

But he would never do so, he thinks, and he tells her this in a gentle voice, before asking what's wrong…

And that's how he learns that Pete just broke up with her because, although they have been dating for a while, she still hasn't given him her consent…

But it's only been a couple of hours, so Freddie wonders aloud what made her change her mind, and her sobbing slows down before she takes a deep breath and answers that, since the kiss, she can only trust him…

And, really understanding her, he nods…

And then he lays her back down again and starts kissing her slowly, having made up his mind to not go further with her, even if she wants to, because it's not right, and he knows she trusts him enough to think that he'll stop, that he won't hurt her if she lets her guard down…

And that thought apparently soothes her, he notices, because now she's reacting to him and not to her disappointment with Pete, as she returns his kisses more timidly than she had before…

And his hands are traveling again, moving up her sides, caressing her breasts tenderly, as he wonders how Sam could have thought he'd believe that someone this perfect could have a twin…

But his brain stops working when her hand slides hesitantly over the front of his boxers, and it's his turn to clench his teeth so that he doesn't cry out in pleasure…

He stops her, though, when he realizes her legs have opened up invitingly and her warmth is eroding his self-control.  
"Sam," he whispers hoarsely, his tongue briefly tasting her neck, making her squirm and fist the sheets. "I've got to be sure you want this."

She nods and shivers, without looking down at him, as he slowly takes off her panties.  
"Once I start, I might not stop…"

She nods again. Her trembling intensifies. He takes off his underwear.  
"Once we do this, there's no going back…"

She no longer answers and he falters…

Her grip on the sheets tightens when he finally grinds his hips against hers.

And then he's taking one of her hands in his and placing it between them to steady their movements, and she understands what he's doing and relaxes enough to start cooperating…

And, in – out – in – out, he's thrusting into the enclosed space, feeling it tighten involuntarily as she flushes in pleasure…

But he's too close, he knows, so his right hand works harder to make her climax…

And then they're both gasping and groaning and crying and throbbing and spilling on his bed, too overcome by their orgasms to care about the mess they're making on the sheets…

And, as their brains and lungs and hearts slow down, and as their bodies start to cool off, tiredness kicks in and he lies down by her side…

But then Sam is slowly moving away from him, covering herself with the duvet they had, at some point, discarded on his floor…

And Freddie suddenly feels incredibly guilty, because he knows they shouldn't have done this and because he's never seen her look this broken…

So he informs her, softly, unobtrusively, almost inaudibly, that he's going to get up, wondering if not telling her his every move might hurt her…

But, covering herself even more with the duvet as she stares emptily at the wall, she barely nods in acknowledgement…

And when he finishes cleaning himself up and walks out of the bathroom, Sam and her clothes are gone, and the window she came in (and probably exited) through is still open…

He closes it before changing his bed sheets but, still, he can't sleep that night, wondering if she'll never forgive him for sort of taking advantage of her, and wondering if he has just wrecked their friendship forever…

But he doesn't have the opportunity to ask her the next day, because he doesn't see her at school, and his heart falls to his knees when he goes to Carly's that afternoon and, strangely, she's not there…

But then Carly is leaving, deciding to straighten things out with Shelby and he can only stay and talk to Spencer about his new shirt and his day at school, because he can't handle going back to his room, where it all happened, knowing he won't ever see Sam again…

And then Carly is texting him, telling him the fight is back on, and he knows that she's probably told Sam to come over to celebrate, and that makes him feel torn between avoiding and waiting for Sam so they can talk…

But he can't force himself to pretend to be happy for Carly after what happened last night, ashamed of kind of betraying and of definitely breaking Sam…

So he goes back to his apartment when Spencer says he has to go shower, and sits on the couch to wallow in the misery of no longer knowing what to do…

And, somewhere in the back of his head, he recognizes a faint sound as the opening of a window.

His head perks up immediately, although he can no longer hear it, and he can't tell if he imagined it or if Sam really is in his room, so he waits a couple of minutes but, when nothing else happens, his heart deflates once again, as his mad hope rushes out of him with a heavy sigh…

But Freddie shakes his head, wishing the despair away, and decides to go check anyway…

And Sam isn't there.

He pulls his hair wretchedly, sure that he can't take much more of this…

And then he notices a t-shirt that he's never seen before on his bed and, on top of it, a small piece of paper with handwriting he definitely recognizes as Sam's…

And he's surprised that, on the note, she says the t-shirt expresses her thanks for not doing anything more than letting her slap his while he disc jockeyed, before assuring Freddie they still hate each other...

And then he opens the grey t-shirt and laughs and knows nothing will have changed, because, in big, bold, capitalized yellow letters, it reads "Special Ham"…

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Author's Note: **I told you it was a is iCarly/Seddie/M-rated/run-on/one-shot fic…  
And now you know what I thought when I saw that, in the iFight Shelby Marx episode, Freddie is wearing a t-shirt that says "Special Ham". Yep, I'm sick.  
But my illness is manageable, I think, since this is only simultaneous M and O (hope I don't have to spell it out, lol). So this is for all of the people out there who didn't think such a small detail could mean they'd had sex. Or, at least, this kind…  
In any case, thanks for reading! Now, please, review!


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